I wish I could be more cutting, droll, and sardonic every time I see the rush to assure men that feminism helps them just as much.
but, I’m more or less just really terrified of the men who need to know how not hurting women will help them before they stop.
I know plenty of straight women who think they’re having “great sex” until they actually start telling their boyfriends that “maybe I could get off sometime too” or “maybe you should start giving me some head”. Then they know what I’m talking about when I’m like “????????” when they say “oh a cuddle is just as good as sex”. Anyway… I’m sure PIV will survive the fall of patriarchy, and contrary to popular belief, I’m not here to ban or prohibit PIV, and before people start coming here with accusations like that I just wanna say this: I’m not a PIV police, I’m not your mom, I have no authority whatsoever over your sex life, and maybe you should question why you feel so goddamn upset at what I’m about to say (maybe it’s just because PIV isn’t that great after all, or maybe you are, deep down, aware of its effects on you, or maybe it’s just that you can’t handle a random womans online opinion - I don’t care, just don’t come to me whining about it). That said, PIV is an act of oppression because of the power imbalances in heterosexual relationships. Women are oppressed, men are not. The penis is used as a weapon in patriarchy, and that changes what happens during a heterosexual intercourse and homosexual sex where both partners are equal on at least a sex based axis.
PIV is also contributing to the spreading of STIs, unwanted pregnancies, preeclampsia, infections, UTIs, selective abortions of female fetuses, overpopulation and the subjugation of women. Its other misogynistic component is that it’s mostly for men - I mean, seriously, where is the clitoris located again???, and 72% of women can’t get an orgasm through PIV but about 99,9% of men can, so who does it benefit? It’s also seen as THE sex act - when people ask you how you lost your virginity, are they asking when you first had oral sex? No, they’re not. They’re asking when you first had PIV. When you go to a gynecologist, and they ask you when you last had sex, they’re not talking about when you fingered someone the last time, they’re asking when you had PIV. Why is PIV the standard sex act, that is more REAL than any other form of sex? It’s because it benefits men. Individual women might think PIV is the greatest thing that ever happen to them, and like, cool for you! Doesn’t change the fact that most women hardly enjoy it, never get off and feel pressured into having it.
my mum: me: